The prince of Suoegrog lived a charmed life. The castle of Suoegrog stood high on a craggy hill in the valley of Neerg. The grass grew as tall as houses, and the river Elgrug ran swiftly between its banks. There was nothing that Prince Drahcir did not have, and nothing that he could not get. One day a stranger came to the castle, to inquire of the prince. <interesting opening<creative and compelling
“Prince Drahcir, how sad that your castle is so lacking,” said the stranger. <format: indent dialogue as though its a new paragraph<
“What do you mean lacking? The Castle Suoegrog lacks nothing!” the prince said indignantly.
“Ah, but it does. Do you see the highest roof, of the highest tower, of the highest spire on the castle?” the stranger asked.
“Yes I see it,” said the prince.
“It lacks a flag,” the stranger said simply.
<strong use of dialogue<moves the narrative and conflict forward: nice.
The prince looked up, staring high into the blue sky, studying the high tower, and concluded that the stranger was right.
“You are correct fine fellow. It does lack a flag and I shall have one hung on it directly,” Prince Drahcir said, standing to call an attendant.
“But, no, oh Prince, hold your way. The flag you seek cannot be found in the castle keep,” the stranger said in a mysterious tone.
Now the Prince frowned, crossed his arms, and waited for the man to continue.
“I also notice that your ways are strange, and your castle cursed,” the stranger finished.
The Prince's face opened in surprise. “How dare you curse my house stranger! I shall toss you out to the Selidocorc's in the castle moat!”
“Exactly my point young prince. Your kingdom has been cursed with a backward tongue, and you know it not!” the stranger bounced up, and before the prince could stop him unfurled a parchment before his eyes. It was a large picture, <no comma of a green reptile. The same reptiles he had in his castle moat.
Below the reptile, <no comma< the prince read the word silently - Crocodiles. <review the differences betw. a dash and hyphen--you want a dash here
“Do you see?” said the stranger. “Selidocorcs do not exist!”
The prince frowned, and tried to sound out the strange word written beneath the reptile. But to no avail, and immediately he feared the stranger was right.
The prince sat heavily in his royal chair, and spoke in a solemn tone. “Tell me then what I must do to make my kingdom right.”
“You must seek the standard of the Knight of Left to Right. Only that flag over your castle will make things perfect once more in the kingdom.”
At once Prince Drahcir made ready to seek this challenge. He mounted his black horse named Wodahs, and belted on his sword called Epoh. The prince spurred Wodahs out of the gates at top speed and in earnest to seek out the Knight of Left to Right.
He rode long and hard for many days until he came to a sign which read ENIAM. Realizing that he had somehow strayed far off the beaten track of civilization, he knew he must be near the right place. So he dismounted his steed and drew his sword called Epoh. He shouted into the dark forest surrounding him.
“Hear me Knight of Left to Right. I have come to challenge you in single combat, for the glory of the kingdom Suoegrog!”
A deep menacing voice came from within the wood. “Return to your castle knight of Suoegrog, for I have no need of your combat.”
Though quaking with mortal fear, Prince Drahcir would not be swayed from his mission.
“Come forth knight, for I wish to carry off your battle standard to my land.”
Silence followed this. Many minutes of silence. At last the Prince began to despair that his foe had quit the area unknowingly. But he did not need to fear. For at that very moment the Knight of Right to Left <is is right to left or left to right? You use both< appeared on the right side of the road.
He was a large and broad chested figure. Clad in shining silver armor, so polished that the sun reflected back on itself. His head was covered in a giant helmet which revealed none of his features, and gave away none of his demeanor. In his hands he carried a giant black shaft of polished wood tipped with a blade of gold and hung with a brilliant orange banner. There was the flag he sought!
The prince wasted no more time. He came on slowly towards the hulking figure, preparing himself to do mighty battle with this worthy foe.
Before the prince reached the silver armored giant, the rumbling voice spoke again. “Halt small prince. I do not wish to join you in combat. It would end the ill for you as well, so I suggest you hear my terms.”
Prince Drahcir paused in his advance, and rested Epoh's tip on the ground.
“Very well Knight tell me your terms. You know I have come for your battle standard,” the prince answered.
“I know well why you have come. I only wish to propose a different form<is form the right/best word here? perhaps simply say: I only wish to propose a different contest, for the battle . . . " for this contest, for the battle does not seem a fair decider.”
“I agree Knight. Tell me what you propose,” the prince graciously answered.
“Because you come on a quest for words, I propose that we settle this matter with a challenge of words,” the knight began. <yesssss!!“You must interpret what I say, and give me only one answer. The hint to the riddle is that our mother said this to us many days. The riddle is this:
Sa uoy veltra dna a ervri ingtmee
ervne og mingswim stju ertaf ingeat.
The prince began to think. The day wore on to near darkness. But still he thought. He took the letters and put them into combinations that he never thought possible. He moved the syllables, and read them left to right and right to left with no avail. At last he began to ponder his old mother's sayings. He thought of her sharp tongue, and even stranger grasp of the language. What were some of her favorites?
Never stand outside while its raining? Eat all your vegetables, or you will turn into one? <don't forget the proverbial, don't eat yellow snow:) sorry, couldn't help myself!!
Then he remembered her most favorite, the one that she would tell him when he went riding, and traveled to other kingdoms. It fit. The words came to him, and he arranged the letters again, by moving the back half of the word to the front, and the saying sprang to his lips.
“As you travel, and a river meeting
Never go swimming just after eating.”
Rejoicing, as he knew he had solved it, the prince came forward to grab the standard. The knight of right to left, removed the orange cloth from his black shafted spear, and then removed his high silver helmet.
“Well said brother. I imagined that you would one day come, as there was no other way for the kingdom to be right again than for us to join together,” the Knight said.
Prince Drahcir studied the tall knight, and nearly fainted in surprise. He was the spitting image of himself, as if he were looking in a mirror!
As so the prince said, “Brother, you were lost so long ago, that I thought it impossible you could still live. We are two parts of our kingdom, and without us both the place will be backwards! Return with me and teach the people the way of Left to Right.”
So Prince Richard, in the Kingdom of Gorgeous, in the Valley of Green, by the River Gurgle lived happily ever after.<perfect ending!!!
Your character, Richard, who triumphs over an obstacle by means of a magical or supernatural element, is clearly on a quest for something important and specific: excellent work. Again, review my comments for direction, and once we get to the revision section, you’ll have new opportunities to re-see this piece. --Gary**********************************************
Journal Assignment U & D action up and down
The Kingdom of Suoegrog
The prince of Suoegrog lived a charmed life. The castle of Suoegrog stood high on a craggy hill in the valley of Neerg. The grass grew as tall as houses, and the river Elgrug ran swiftly between its banks. There was nothing that Prince Drahcir did not have, and nothing that he could not get. One day a stranger came to the castle, to inquire of the prince. U
“Prince Drahcir, how sad that your castle is so lacking,” said the stranger.
“What do you mean lacking? The Castle Suoegrog lacks nothing!” the prince said indignantly.
“Ah, but it does. Do you see the highest roof, of the highest tower, of the highest spire on the castle?” the stranger asked.
“Yes I see it,” said the prince.
“It lacks a flag,” the stranger said simply.
The prince looked up, staring high into the blue sky, studying the high tower, and concluded that the stranger was right.
“You are correct fine fellow. It does lack a flag and I shall have one hung on it directly,” Prince Drahcir said, standing to call an attendant.
“But no oh Prince, hold your way. The flag you seek cannot be found in the castle keep,” the stranger said in a mysterious tone.D
Now the Prince frowned, crossed his arms, and waited for the man to continue.
“I also notice that your ways are strange, and your castle cursed,” the stranger finished.
The Prince's face opened in surprise. “How dare you curse my house stranger! I shall toss you out to the Selidocorc's in the castle moat!”
“Exactly my point young prince. Your kingdom has been cursed with a backward tongue, and you know it not!” the stranger bounced up, and before the prince could stop him unfurled a parchment before his eyes. It was a large picture, of a green reptile. The same reptiles he had in his castle moat.
Below the reptile, the prince read the word silently - Crocodiles.
“Do you see?” said the stranger. “Selidocorcs do not exist!”
The prince frowned, and tried to sound out the strange word written beneath the reptile. But to no avail, and immediately he feared the stranger was right.
The prince sat heavily in his royal chair, and spoke in a solemn tone. “Tell me then what I must do to make my kingdom right.”
“You must seek the standard of the Knight of Left to Right. Only that flag over your castle will make things perfect once more in the kingdom.”U
At once Prince Drahcir made ready to seek this challenge. He mounted his black horse named Wodahs, and belted on his sword called Epoh. The prince spurred Wodahs out of the gates at top speed, in earnest to seek out the Knight of Left to Right. D
He rode long and hard for many days until he came to a sign which read ENIAM. Realizing that he had somehow strayed far off the beaten track of civilization, he knew he must be near the right place. So he dismounted his steed and drew his sword called Epoh. He shouted into the dark forest surrounding him.
“Hear me Knight of Left to Right. I have come to challenge you in single combat, for the glory of the kingdom Suoegrog!”
A deep menacing voice came from within the wood. “Return to your castle knight of Suoegrog, for I have no need of your combat.”
Though quaking with mortal fear, Prince Drahcir would not be swayed from his mission.
“Come forth knight, for I wish to carry off your battle standard to my land.”
Silence followed this. Many minutes of silence. At last the Prince began to despair that his foe had quit the area unknowingly. But he did not need to fear. For at that very moment the Knight of Left to Right appeared on the right side of the road. U
He was a large and broad chested figure. Clad in shining silver armor, so polished that the sun reflected back on itself. His head was covered in a giant helmet which revealed none of his features, and gave away none of his demeanor. In his hands he carried a giant black shaft of polished wood tipped with a blade of gold and hung with a brilliant orange banner. There was the flag he sought!
The prince wasted no more time. He came on slowly towards the hulking figure, preparing himself to do mighty battle with this worthy foe.
Before the prince reached the silver armored giant, the rumbling voice spoke again. “Halt small prince. I do not wish to join you in combat. It would end the ill for you as well, so I suggest you hear my terms.” D
Prince Drahcir paused in his advance, and rested Epoh's tip on the ground.
“Very well Knight tell me your terms. You know I have come for your battle standard,” the prince answered.
“I know well why you have come. I only wish to propose a different form for this contest, for the battle does not seem a fair decider.”
“I agree Knight. Tell me what you propose,” the prince graciously answered.
“Because you come on a quest for words, I propose that we settle this matter with a challenge of words,” the knight began. “You must interpret what I say, and give me only one answer. The hint to the riddle is that our mother said this to us many days. The riddle is this:
Sa uoy veltra dna a ervri ingtmee
ervne og mingswim stju ertaf ingeat.D
The prince began to think. The day wore on to near darkness. But still he thought. He took the letters and put them into combinations that he never thought possible. He moved the syllables, and read them left to right and right to left with no avail. At last he began to ponder his old mother's sayings. He thought of her sharp tongue, and even stranger grasp of the language. What were some of her favorites?
Never stand outside while its raining? Eat all your vegetables, or you will turn into one?
Then he remembered her most favorite, the one that she would tell him when he went riding, and traveled to other kingdoms. It fit. The words came to him, and he arranged the letters again, by moving the back half of the word to the front, and the saying sprang to his lips.
“As you travel, and a river meeting
Never go swimming just after eating.”
Rejoicing, as he knew he had solved it, the prince came forward to grab the standard. The knight of Left to Right removed the orange cloth from his black shafted spear, and then removed his high silver helmet.
“Well said brother. I imagined that you would one day come, as there was no other way for the kingdom to be right again than for us to join together.” the Knight said.
Prince Drahcir studied the tall knight, and nearly fainted in surprise. He was the spitting image of himself, as if he were looking in a mirror!
As so the prince said, “Brother, you were lost so long ago, that I thought it impossible you could still live. We are two parts of our kingdom, and without us both the place will be backwards! Return with me and teach the people the way of Left to Right.” U
So Prince Richard, in the Kingdom of Gorgeous, in the Valley of Green, by the River Gurgle lived happily ever after.
*******************************************************************
Journal assignment exercise 2 - adding random lines to twist the story. Includes edited suggestions
(underlined sentences are inserted near the end of the short tale.)
“Well said brother. I imagined that you would one day come, as there was no other way for the kingdom to be right again than for us to join together,” the Knight said.
Prince Drahcir studied the tall knight, and nearly fainted in surprise. He was the spitting image of himself, as if he were looking in a mirror!
So the prince said, “Brother, you were lost so long ago, that I thought it impossible you could still live. We are two parts of our kingdom, and without us both the place will be backwards! Return with me and teach the people the way of Left to Right.”
Suddenly something seemed different in Prince Drahcir's heart and mind. Why did the words fall together so easily? He looked at his brother, the Knight of Left to Right, and marveled at the clarity with which he now saw the world. His brother passed him the battle standard that he had rightly earned, and Drahcir held up the fabric to read. In large black letters across the triangular flag was the word
PERFECT.
“What brother, is the meaning of this flag?” Drahcir asked.
“Ah you see that it is the standard of PERFECT.”
Drahcir suspected that there was more of a story behind this standard, so he probed further.
“Is this the flag of another kingdom close by here?” he asked.
“Indubitably my fair brother. There is still much to be done in order to return Suoegrog to its rightful state. It is why I have waited for you here so long,” the Knight of Left to Right answered.
“Well then, tell me what must be done,” the prince said.
“Very well, but prepare thyself for a most fantastic adventure,” he answered.
Now, the two brothers flung arms around each other and moved off into the forest with their heads bent together, and the story of the Kingdom of Perfect is for another time.
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